The Spies Next Door
by Batmanskipper
Summary: Marlene had no idea what she was getting into when she went to meet the new neighbors: Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private. She certainly didn't expect to be kidnapped by those same neighbors when she accidentally overhears one of their top secret meetings. Things take a new twist when Skipper falls in love with his captive, and Marlene falls in love with her captor. Humanized .
1. New Neighbours

**This is my first humanized story and my first story with any kind of Skileen, don't worry, plenty of that in future chapters. this will be a slightly longer story than my last one. I'v made private far too young to join the army, but that will be explained later.**

Three men, and a boy who looked about fourteen entered the house next door. They were her new neighbors! Marlene gave them an hour to settle in before knocking on the door. She looked forward to welcoming the new additions to the neighborhood.

Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private exited the car. "Just smile and walk boys, we're a normal family remember," Skipper whispered, reminding them of their cover. However, as soon as they entered the house, the smiles and the normal family behavior disappeared. "Alright, men. Our mission is to discover any information we can about Blowhole. Private will join the local school, Kowalski has a job at the JulianTech labs, I'm posing as Private's father and will be working for a law firm called Hans and Savio. Rico will be working as a demolitions expert in the construction firm Clemson PLC. All these companies and schools are suspected of assisting Blowhole in ways which you have already been briefed on. Any questions?" Private raised his hand, "I didn't know you have a law degree, Skippah."

"Technically, no, but thanks to a four day crash course on the internet and Kowalski's hacking skills, I do now. Anything else? Oporation: unpack these boxes is a go." They were about to start unpacking when they heard a knock at the door.

"Hi," Skipper opened the door to see a young woman, with long chestnut brown hair. She was wearing jeans and a summer blouse, and holding a box of chocolates. Skipper knew from the dossiers he had read on the various people who lived in the area, that her name was Marlene Drew, she was 27 years old, worked as a receptionist at Hans and Savio, and loved Spanish guitar and oysters, "Well, you're my new neighbours, so I decided to bring a small housewarming gift. Oh, by the way, my name's Marlene." Then marlene realised they still might be unpacking, "Oh... Um... I didn't come at a bad time, did I? I know you guys have a lot of unpacking..."

"Now's fine, come on In." Skipper replied. As he led the way to the living room he stepped on a hidden button on the floor, which signaled the others to get into character. Private sat lazily on the couch and began to play a videogame, Kowalski turned over a new page on his clipboard, but otherwise acted like himself. Rico hid the various weapons he was cleaning in his backpack. Skipper and Marlene walked into the room.

"Hi, guys," Marlene greeted, everyone but Private looked up at their guest, hiding their analytical and paranoid thoughts hidden behind welcoming smiles.

"Right, this is Marlene, our new neghbour. My name's John, John Henderson," Skipper began his introductions, "This is my cousin Conner," Kowalski shook hands with Marlene. "This is my friend Rico, he's staying with us until he can get his apartment sorted out," Rico also shook hands with their guest. "And this is my son Thomas." Private gave Marlene the classic teenage sneer then returned to his video game. Skipper pretended to be embarrassed by Private's rude behavior. "Thomas, put the game down and say hello to our new neighbors." Private passed the game to Kowalski. The electronic device was actually an infra red scanner, that had been checking Marlene for guns or bugs, anything to indicate she was working with Blowhole. Kowalski switched the game off, which was a signal to Skipper that Marlene was clear of anything harmful.

"So you're a demolitions expert?" Asked Marlene. Rico tried his best to reply, despite his speech difficulties.

"Aa. Na emson ruction." Marlene looked sligltly puzzled.

"He has a speech difficulty," Skipper explained, "He meant to say that he has a job with Clemson construction."

"Oh, that company that just finished the Hans and Savio building. I work there."

"So do I," Skipper replied, "I'm starting the new corporate crime division."

"I thought your name sounded familiar."

After about half an hour Marlene excused herself, "Well, its been great to get to know you all, but I gotta be at the office early." Marlene stood up. Skipper walked back to the door with her and opened it.

"Nice to get to know you too. I guess I'll see you at the office." Skipper replied. Marlene nodded.

"bye." Marlene left the house and started to walk home.

The next day, Skipper woke Private up at 0630. "First day of school, soldier," Skipper shouted when Private buried his head under his pillows trying to get a few more minutes sleep, "I wont have you arriving late." Finally Private dragged himself out of bed. He followed Skipper downstairs where the leader had made pancakes. Kowalski and Rico were already downstairs. "You have ten minutes to eat and get ready. Meet me outside in the car at 0642." Skipper ordered passing Private a plate full of pancakes.

"Skippah," Private asked cautiously, "Do I really have to act so rude and nasty to everyone? I know its my cover, but cant I just act that way when I'm at school?"

"Manfridi and Johnson asked a similar question back when we were infiltrating BADGER, back in Alaska. They wanted to allow an inconsistency in their cover to impress a girl. Their heads were sent back to me via room service the next morning." Skipper glared at the younger penguin, after recounting his former teammates' misadventure.

Skipper had arranged for Private to be seated next to Archie Bennett during math, the lesson in which he was most likely to misbehave, giving Private a better chance of earning his favor. Skipper believed Archie had some kind of connection to Blowhole, but wouldn't reveal his source. Archie threw an eraser at the boy seated next to him. "Welcome, newbie," He sneered. He followed this with a kick to Private's ankle. "Oi!" Private elbowed the other boy in the ribs. The teacher turned around, "Bennett, Henderson, see me after school."


	2. Lunch Hour Espionage

Private was eating his lunch when Archie and his minions snuck up behind him. Luckily, thanks to the combat training he had received from Skipper, he knew they were coming long before Archie threw his first punch. He dodged pushing Archie face first into the table. "You little..." Archie growled. Private stood up as the other four boys charged towards him. Private could easily take them down in under thirty seconds, but didn't want to blow his cover by showing off his martial arts prowess. Instead he dragged out the fight for a whole two minutes.

Finally, when everyone else was either moaning in pain or had run away, he faced a very angry Archie. Archie threw punch at Private, which was sloppy at best. Private blocked and kneed the other boy in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him, then slammed him against the wall. Archie kicked Private's legs out from under him. Private had obviously underestimated his opponent. Archie landed on top of him punched Private in the face, giving him a bloody nose. Private moved his head to the side as the boy punched again, causing him to hit his hand hard against the cafeteria floor. Private took advantage of the distraction, he grabbed Archie's collar and shoved him against the wall again. He punched him in the face a couple of times for good measure, and was about to deliver a knockout blow when one of the teachers ran over grabbing his wrist to stop him. How the teachers had managed to take this long to stop the fight he did not know. Private allowed himself to be pulled away from the other boy by the two teachers.

Archie slowly picked himself off the floor. The teachers surveyed the carnage.

"Which one of you started this?" One of the teachers demanded. Private looked at Archie.

"Me." Private replied. Archie looked at him, surprise written all over his face. Why would a kid who he had attacked, take the brunt of the punishment? As Archie was led by one of the other teachers towards the nurse's office he whispered to Private, "Maybe you aren't so bad after all. See ya in detention." Everything had played out just how Private had planned. By defeating the boy, then showing a kind of bizarre loyalty to him, Private had earned a grudging respect. All he had to do now was build trust and wait for information.

Skipper followed the other office workers towards the cafeteria, making sure he was at the back of the crowd. He ducked around the corner and waited for everyone to leave. After he checked nobody was looking he ducked into a storage closet. Above some of the shelves was a ventilation shaft. According to the building's plans, this ventilation shaft led directly above both the senior partners, Mr Hans and Mr Savio's, offices. All he had to do was crawl through and place the bugs, then continue through the shaft and exit into the law library, which should be empty at this hour. Skipper climbed up the shelves, removed the cover and squeezed into the shaft. He wriggled along, trying to make as little noise as possible. Finally he arrived above Hans' office.

"...Yes, yes, we'll draw up the paper work..." That voice! The one voice Skipper would never forget. It was the voice of the man who had made him Denmark's public enemy no.1. Hans Svendsen AKA Hans the Puffin. Ten minutes passed. He had been simply sitting there, simply listening to his old 'frenemey' hate burning in his eyes planing ways to kill the traitorous Dane. He slapped himself. His job was to plant the bug, not murder Hans. At least, not yet. He continued down the ventilation shaft.

Savio's suave voice echoed through the vent. Now that he had seen Hans he wasn't surprised that slippery snake from Hoboken max was here too. It always made Skipper's skin crawl to here the cannibal's voice. "...I'm afraid thatsss not and option Misssster King. My firm can not be ssssseen to do bussiness with JulianTech. I'm afraid itsss jussst too risssky..." Now Skipper knew there was deffinatly a connection between Hans, Savio and Julian King, CEO of JulianTech. Skipper attached the bug to the side of the ventilation shaft, then began to crawl towards the law library.

Marlene walked past the glass wall that divided the law library from the eighth floor offices, when she saw something strange out of the corner of her eye. She looked again to check if she had really seen what she though she had. She hadn't imagined it. John Henderson was climbing out of one of the air vent. He hadn't seen her, yet. She silently opened the door to the library and hid behind one of the shelves.

"Kowalski, I've placed the bugs." She heard John whisper into his cell phone. He listened for a few seconds then replied, "I'll give you and the team the full report at 1900 hours. Wait, tell the HQ that Hans the Puffin has been located... Radio, phone call... I don't care if you send a telegram, just tell them Hans has been located... Affirmative... Skipper out." Henderson replaced the cover on the ventilation shaft and left the law library before Marlene had time to ask him what he what he was doing.

Kowalski barely noticed as his colleagues left for lunch. So many inventions! He was almost considering quitting the team just to work here. Almost. He still had a mission to complete. When everyone was gone, the scientist began the slow task of hacking the lab's computer systems. He was about to start decrypting and copying the suspicious files, when he heard someone behind him say, "Why are you not taking your lunch break, Wally?" Kowalski turned around.

"Its Kowalski Mr..." Kowalski snapped, quickly reopening the window containing his work, before anyone saw what he was doing.

"King, Julian King."

"I'm sorry Mr King I..." Kowalski turned around, turning as red as a beetroot, hoping his less than respectful tone hadn't gotten him fired. Fired without gaining any information.

"Please, please, call me Julian." Kowalski breathed a sigh of relief. Julian King was a tall, skinny man in his late twenties. He wore a light gray Italian suit with a black dress shirt. His hair was a white blond. Beside him stood a short and slightly over weight aid wearing a black suit and white dress suit. Kowalski knew from the files he had read that his name was Maurice. He had been King's personal aid since the tech giant had just opened. He even traveled from Madagascar with his employer when the head offices were relocated to New York.

"Okay... Um Julian, Sir. I haven't began my lunch break because I'm absolutely desperate to finish this section of code." Kowalski answered his employer's question.

"Oh yes, you are working on my upgrade for MORT." Julian replied.

"MORT?" Kowalski was puzzled by Julian's answer, did he really not know the way around his own company?

"Uh... Sir," Maurice spoke for the first time, "We're actually in the weapons targeting division."

"Don't be silly, Maurice, we don't make weapons, only cute little devices like MORT." Julian removed a device, that looked like a smart phone with an extremely furry light brown case, "I'm pretty sure I ordered everyone to get working on MORT's software update. Someone must get rid of his obsession about de feet."

"'Feeeeeeeeeeeet!," the small device squealed vibrating out of Julian's hands and onto his feet.

"I am telling you, this artificial intelligence is quite the annoying." He kicked MORT across the room.

"I'm a soccer ball! Yay!" shouted the device as it flew through the air. Surprisingly, when Maurice picked MORT up on the other side of the room, he wasn't even scratched.

Kowalski saw his opportunity. "Uh... Sir, I think I may be able to remove MORT's feet obsession."

"You can! Oh, I am thanking you so much!" Julian motioned for Maurice to hand Kowalski the device..

"I will be doing the checking tomorrow. Work on it all night if you have to, just make him stop touching the feet!" He called over his shoulder as him and Maurice walked towards the elevator. Kowalski silently congratulated himself. Julian obviously took MORT with him wherever he went. If anything was going to give him information on Blowhole, it would be MORT's memory.


	3. Curiosity Killed the Cat

"Alright, boys, I've called this meeting, because I wanted to discuss my findings at the offices of Hans and Savio," Skipper stood in front of his men, who were all seated on the couch in the living room, "As I mentioned to Kowalski in a secure radio transmission, Mr James Hans, and Mr Henry Savio, are assumed names. They are really Hans Svendsen, AKA Hans the Puffin, and Savio Serpiente, from Hoboken max. I don't have enough evidence to connect them to Blowhole, yet. However, even if I am unable link him to Blowhole in any way shape or form, or with evidence that is not admissible in court, I will still be able to charge Hans, under RICO, for other offense which he couldn't help but commit." Rico looked at him quizzically, "Raht?"

"Not you, Rico. RICO, Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act." Rico stared at Skipper blankly.

"You can stop talking like a lawyer now, Skipper." Kowalski pointed out.

"You have absolutely no reason to suggest that I... Oh, I really am talking like a lawyer. Anyway, what I mean, is I've just gotten some good information, and I really really hate Hans. Private, what did you do at school today?"

"Well, Skippah, I managed to gain Archie's respect during a fight in the cafeteria..."

"Who won?" Skipper interrupted.

"I did, Skippah, but I didn't manage to find any information linking Archie to Hans." Private reported.

"What about you, Kowalski?"

"Well, I copied all the suspicious files I found on the lab's computer system. I have also managed to get my hands on Julian King's artificial intelligence pet. Julian carries him everywhere with him," Kowalski removed the device from his pocket, "His name is MORT. He only has one flaw, though technology is decades ahead of its time, and absolutely fascinating. Did you know MORT can ..."

"Cut the nerd lingo, Kowalski, whats the flaw, and does it affect us?"

"He doesn't have a mute button, Skipper"

"Thats not much of a problem."

"You weren't stuck listening to him all day." Kowalski muttered.

"I like not having a mute button," exclaimed the small device, "but I don't like being away from Julian's feet."

"Feet?" Laughed Skipper.

"Yeah, my excuse for taking him home was that I would correct a software error which causes him to be obsessed with Mr King's feet."

"And there's no risk he's recording what we're saying?" Skipper asked warily, remembering to be paranoid.

"Skipper, I really don't think Julian or MORT are possibly smart enough to count as a suspect. Julian cant even find his way around his own offices."

"On a first name basis with the enemy, Kowalski?"

"Mr King likes an informal work environment. Everyone uses their first names." Skipper nodded

"Rico, did you photograph the papers?"

"Ruh hu." Rico removed a digital camera from his backpack, and plugged it into the computer. The photographs appeared on the screen, "So... they've been buying three times the equipment, cement and steel girders they need, none of which actually ends up at the site. Kowalski, any ideas?" Skipper examined the photographed documents. Rico passed Kowalski his notepad, which he immediately began to make various calculations on. "Well, Skipper, it is plausible that they could be delivering it to Blowhole to build his new base. I mean, we did kind of blow up his last three"

Half an hour earlier

Marlene walked towards her neighbor's house. She had made up her mind to ask what Mr Henderson was doing in one of the ventilation shafts, and who Hans the Puffin is. There was obviously something strange going on in the house next door. Her best guess was corporate espionage. Ironic that Mr Henderson was head of corporate crime.

She was walking towards their front door, when she heard voices coming through an open window.

"I think we should continue to pursue all leads. Its pretty likely that there's a link between between Hans and Savio, JulianTech, Clemson PLC and Blowhole. I plan on pursuing this to the extreme. Private, next week is take your child to work day. We can use that as an excuse to get another operative in the building, namely you." She could hear Henderson announce.

"Yes, Skippah," She heard Thomas reply, but with a strange, debatable fake English accent. She climbed onto a child's tricycle to get a better view. However, the tricycle moved, causing her to slip, slamming into the side of the house.

"Do you really think its a good idea to to allow Private anywhere near Hans?" Asked Kowalski, "I mean, he's just about killed you, twice. Don't you think thats a bit dangerous for..." Kowalski was interrupted by a loud thump, followed by an "Ow!" The team rushed towards the door, and out to where the sound came from. Marlene sat, nursing an injury.

"She's heard too much, boys!" Shouted Skipper. Marlene started to run away as best she could with her sprained ankle. "Help, somebody mmhhhmm." Rico, who had caught up to her first, clamped a hand over her mouth and removed a knife, intending to permanently prevent her from talking. "Don't kill her Rico!" Skipper shouted. Rico looked at him as if he must have misheard. Skipper never took prisoners. "You heard me Rico, don't kill her!" Rico shrugged and simply knocked her out. With the target acquired, Kowalski checked that nobody else had seen what had happened. "Coast's clear, Skipper." He reported.


	4. The Neighbours are Psychotic!

Marlene awoke to find herself bound to a chair, a blinding light shining in her face.

"Why are you working for Blowhole," Mr Henderson demanded.

"Blowhole? Who? Mr Henderson, you have a lot of explaining to do," Marlene rolled off questions at the speed of light, "Why were you climbing out of the ventilation shaft in the law library? Whose Hans? Why are you trying to steal secrets from the firm? Why am I..."

"I'll ask the questions." John Henderson slammed his fist on the table, "You'd better tell me what you know about Blowhole NOW!"

"I don't know who this, Blowhole is. I only saw you climb out of the ventilation shaft, say something about a puffin named Hans. I know it looks bad, but I was only coming over to ask what the hell you were doing when I heard you say something to someone called Private, then Thomas started talking all weird..."

"ay I?" Asked Rico, holding a small bag containing various torture tools .

"Not yet. Private, lock her in the guest bedroom." Henderson ordered. Thomas began to cut the ropes that were holding her to the chair and the ones around her ankles, all the time keeping his gun trained on her. Her legs were stiff and she stumbled the first couple of steps as Thomas led her up the stairs and towards the guest bedroom. Thomas stopped at one of the doors and motioned for her to enter.

"What's your father thinking letting a twelve year old use a gun! How is that safe!" Marlene exclaimed as she entered the room.

"Actually, I'm fourteen, and I can assemble, dissemble and load just about everything from a Beretta to a AK47. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." Thomas cut the ropes binding her wrists. As soon as her hands were free she spun around, pushed the gun out of the way and attempted to run past him. Thomas grabbed her wrist, twisting it around into a painful lock. "Please, Marlene." She could see in the kid's eyes that he really didn't want to hurt her, but deffinatly could. It was pretty obvious the attitude he had shown when they first met was an act. He seemed like a nice kid. She stopped struggling, and Thomas released is grip. She sat down at the desk. "'What did that guy do to this kid," She thought aloud.

"It was my choice to join the team," Thomas replied, "Skippah's quite a nice person once you get to know him."

"Yeah, and I'm an otter in the central park zoo." Marlene rolled her eyes. Private looked down at her swollen ankle. "Thats a pretty bad sprain. I'll ask someone to take a look at it." Thomas left the room and locked the door

"Um... Skipper... How can I put his... You've been acting pretty strangely recently." Kowalski observed, bracing himself for a slap, "Skipper?" Kowalski waved a hand in front of his leader's face.

"Wha... Acting strangely? How?" Skipper returned to reality.

"Like, well, that. Skipper, you never daydream. Well, not since the academy when you went crazy for that girl, what was her... Ohhh." Kowalski turned bright red. Skipper had started acting strangely the moment the had met Marlene. It was pretty obvious he liked her.

"Are you suggesting that I..."

"No, no, absolutely not, I just realized I have to start work on MORT if I'm going to have time to copy the memory and find the software glitch." Kowalski made a beeline for the computer in the other room.

Skipper got only a few seconds silence before Private entered the room. "Skippah, Marlene's sprain looks pretty bad. Could either you or Kowalski take a look at it?"

"Sure," Skipper looked up from the table, which he had been studying intently.

"Skippah, are you okay?"

"Absolutely fine, young Private." Skipper jumped up from the table, grabbed an ice pack from the kitchen, then walked towards the game room, where Rico was sorting out his various explosives. "Rico, medical kit." Rico removed it from his back pack, and tossed it over his shoulder. Skipper caught it and began to walk up the stairs, and down the hallway. He paused in front of Marlene's door. Suddenly he felt guilty. Marlene seemed like a nice girl. He couldn't imagine her working for Blowhole, but you could never tell with girls. Like those two girls Manfridi and Johnson had met in Miami. They'd stabbed them in the back the moment they had the information they wanted... Poor, naive Manfridi and Johnson. Skipper looked at the door, lousing the internal battle as to weather he would enter or not. Marlene couldn't be like those two girls in Miami. Cheese and crackers, he had been planning on asking Marlene out. Finally, he knocked on the door. "Ma'am, may I come in?" Instantly, he regretted his show of courtesy. He couldn't have them men, and certainly not a prisoner still needed for interrogation, thinking he had gone soft.

"Come in." Marlene replied. There was a scuffling inside the room. Doubtless, she was going to try and ambush him.

As soon as she heard Henderson's knock, Marlene grabbed a chair and pressed herself against the door frame, like she had seen in a thousand spy movies. "Come in," She replied. The door opened. She swung the chair, attempting to knock out, or at least stun her captor. Mr Henderson, or whoever he really was, deflected the chair with ease and wrenched it from her grasp. She lashed out with a roundhouse kick to the stomach, but her ankle, which still hurt like crazy, gave way. Suddenly Henderson's strong arms caught her. Sapphire blue eyes, filled with real concern met hers for a split second, before they returned to Henderson's usual stern and completely heartless scowl. He picked up the chair she had attacked him with and set it right way up before helping her limp towards it.

"Thomas said your sprain needed medical attention." He stated, gruffly.

"Yeah, nice kid. Shame you treat him like that." Her voice full of contempt.

"Treat him like what?"

"You know what I'm talking about. Twisting a boy's mind into playing your psychotic little commando game."

"It was his choice."

"Like hell it was."

"He decided to join the team of his own free will after I saved his life. He was going to kill himself until I took him in. You cant even pretend to imagine what that kid was put through before we found him." She could tell from his face he realized he had said too much.

"So you're the hero." Marlene yelled sarcastically. "The guy who gave fourteen year old a firearm and forced him to assist you in my kidnapping. If he hadn't stopped you it would have been my murder! And to think I was planning on asking you over for dinner next week." Marlene shouted.

"Actually, I STOPPED THEM!" automatically skipper regretted the statement. So much for the heartless interrogator routine.

"So if you really did stop them. Why?" Marlene thought back to the day before. It all went so fast, she didn't really know who's voice it was that told Rico to stop. She had assumed it was Thomas, because he seemed to be the only one who was not psychotic. But now she thought about it. The voice was too low to belong to Thomas.

"I... I..." Henderson searched for a reason. Well, one he wanted to admit, "I don't know. I just couldn't let them... Lets take a look at that sprain."

"You couldn't let them what? From what I've seen, I wouldn't think you were the type to take prisoners."

"Would you like medical attention or not!"


	5. Escape?

Marlene stared at the wall. There wasn't exactly anything else to do. She had been here for three days, and the only highlights seemed to be when Thomas brought her meals. He had been instructed not to speak to the prisoner, but always stopped for a short conversation. It was usually the weather, or sports, or occasionally politics. Henderson may have been a terrible father, but he deffinatly gave his kid a good education. Thomas was two years ahead of his age. Most of the time, between meals, Marlene thought of John... Mr Henderson. She just couldn't make sense of what he had said. Why did he stop the Rico from killing her?

The door opened and Thomas entered with her lunch. "Hi, Thomas. So whats for lunch today? Please tell me its not microwaved." She didn't bother to turn around.

"Actually its spaghetti with an oyster and cream sauce." Marlene turned around at the sound of an unexpected voice. "Mr Henderson?" Marlene asked, confused by the sudden lack of non microwaved food.

"Your... um... file said it was your favorite."

"So you read my file?" Marlene asked suspiciously. Henderson suddenly turned defensive.

"Well I've read the files on everyone in the surrounding area." Henderson blushed slightly.

Skipper set the tray down on the table and walked towards the door.

"John Henderson isn't your real name is it." Skipper looked back at Marlene, half in and half out of the room. "No, ma'am, its not." Skipper began to fidget nervously behind his back.

"I've heard the others call you Skipper. Whats your real name?"

"Thats classified. Even the team doesn't know it."

"So how long am I stuck here?"

"Classified."

"Wont all my friends wonder why I've disappeared"

"No. You've recently inherited $10,000 from, your aunt, Mary Richards, who died last year. You have used the money to go on a skiing holiday in Canada. Tax and other government records, bank statements, receipts, CCTV footage, emails, postcards, and witnesses will collaborate this. A postcard is sent to your sister, Elisabeth Drew, is sent every three days, just like you normally do when you go on holiday."

"How do you know all this? How did you get access to all those records?"

"You should have believed me when I told you I work for the government."

"I'm pretty sure Thoma... I mean Private is too young to enlist, cause I'm guessing he isn't really your son."

"Thats classified."

"So whats your views on the new JulianPhone 3?"

"Classified."

"Who made my pasta? I didn't realize any of you could cook."

"Classified."

"Tell me, do you win awards for you conversation skills?" Marlene asked sarcastically. She had a feeling the answer was classified.

"Classified. If you'll excuse me, ma'am, I must brief my men before Private's bedtime."

The next day Skipper drove Private to school. "Private, what do you think of Marlene?"

"Well, I think we should release her considering the fact she obviously doesn't work for Blowhole."

"Out of the question, Private. She knows too much. I'd be courts-martialed if I let her go."

"You like her don't you, Skippah. She is a nice girl, not like Lola. You should..."

"Have a good day at school, Private."

Marlene saw her opportunity. Kowalski was the only one in the house. The sounds of small explosions and the occasional "Dammit!" told her he was in the lab. Now that her ankle was better, she had a better chance of escaping. She removed a bobby pin from her pocket, for some reason she hadn't been searched, and set to work picking the lock. For once she was glad her mother dated that locksmith. When the door had been opened left the room and made a beeline for the kitchen, and grabbed the heaviest frying pan she could. She looked about the room. Rico had left some strange looking handcuffs on the table. She picked these up, they'd probably be useful. Silently she made her way towards the den which converted to a lab. The door was open. Kowalski had his back to her. Fortunately he was too focused on his experiment to notice her before she knocked him out with the frying pan.

Immediately she handcuffed the scientist to a thick pipe running along the back wall. He could probably pick the locks pretty quickly after he woke up, but it would slow him down. Marlene probably only had a few minutes before he woke up. Kowalski stirred. Make that a few seconds. Suddenly, there was a loud thump outside the door. She grabbed her trusty frying pan and cautiously opened the door. No one was there. Then she looked down, and saw Skipper, collapsed in a pool of his own blood.


	6. The Game He Always Won

She stared at the motionless form. She had about one minute before Kowalski woke up. She only had time to make one of two decisions. She could leave now, or stay and help Skipper. If she left now, Kowalski would almost deffinatly wake up before he bled out, and she would probably have enough time to escape. If she didn't, she would be recaptured and possibly killed for attempting to escape. Rico probably wouldn't excuse her hitting Kowalski over the head with a frying pan. Run, or save the man who planned to hold her prisoner indefinitely. Despite all logic, she dragged the wounded soldier into the house.

"Doris..." Kowalski stirred, "Skipper!? Marlene!?" This was a lot of information for Kowalski to process all at once. He stood up and looked behind him when he heard the scraping noise caused by the handcuffs sliding against the pipe. "Damn."

"Kowalski! Skipper's hurt, you have to stop the bleeding!" Marlene was almost hysterical.

"Well, Miss Drew, it would seem you have used the new prototype of my modified handcuffs. The prototype made so well that nobody can escape, and unfortunately that includes me."

"Well tell me where the keys are!"

"Rico has them. Now, STOP PANICKING!" Kowalski yelled at her, immediately Marlene stopped screaming, "Get him over here so I can take a look at the wound." Marlene obeyed Kowalski's instructions as mechanically as a robot. She dragged Skipper across the living room and into the lab. Kowalski examined the wound. "Okay, its deffinatly gunshot wound. Do you know how to remove the bullet, clean, bandage, and give him a blood transplant?"

"No. Why can't we just call Private and Rico and tell them to come back?"

"Its too risky, if Skipper's been compromised, that is a possibility, If Private and Rico suddenly rush home, they're cover will be blown too. If there's no difference in they're behavior, they'll be overlooked."

"How can we get the bullet out then?"

"You're going to do it. I'm going to tell you exactly what to do and you will follow my instructions to the letter. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir."

Skipper had regained consciousness a couple of times while she was removing the bullet and patching the wound, but never for more than a few seconds. Kowalski had walked her through the whole thing. After about fifteen minutes after she had finished Kowalski had fallen asleep out of pure exhaustion. She still had four hours until the others returned. She could still escape. Marlene stood up and began to walk towards the door, frying pan in hand.

She spun around when she heard Skipper cry out, "No! Manfridi!.. Don't go in there... they're going to kill you!" his face was contorted in emotional pain, "NO!.. Manfridi! Johnson!.. Don't leave me!" For some reason she couldn't explain, she sat down next to the dreaming penguin. "Shh, its just a dream," She comforted, but to no avail. "Why?!... Couldn't save you..." A single tear slid down her cheek.

"Marlene." Kowalski whispered. Marlene turned around. She could tell it hurt Kowalski to see his leader like this just as much as her.

"Whats he talking about, Kowalski."

"Manfridi and Johnson."

"Who are... were... they?"

"Well, before me, Rico and Private were posted to this team, Skipper was part of a team there were two other members: Manfridi and Johnson. They were his best friends. Then they died. Nobody knows exactly how or where, or why. All we know was they died, and Skipper blames himself."

"Doesn't Skipper know? He was there."

"Something happened on that mission, maybe it was Manfridi and Johnson's death, maybe it was something else, but it changed him. He remembers how they died differently every time. I knew him from the academy, before the mission. He used to be so happy. Life was a game to him, a game he always won." Kowalski smiled, remembering all the good times they had, "You know, this is all very classified, I wouldn't tell anyone I told you this."

"So why are you telling me?"

"I just want you to understand, why Skipper does some of the things he does, why he's so paranoid. He's afraid what happened to Manfridi and Johnson will happen to us."

"And you want me to understand because?"

"Lets just quote Skipper and call it classified, for the moment." Marlene looked at the door then back at Skipper. It was her last chance to escape.

The door opened and Rico and Private entered. They're trained eyes noticed the trail of blood leading from the porch, through the living room and into the lab. Instantly they were concerned. They drew their guns and shut the door. They peered around the lab door. Marlene was lent over Skipper's unconscious form, surrounded by what was obviously Skipper's blood. Kowalski was chained to a pipe.

"Hands in the air, Marlene!" Private shouted as menacingly as he could, which wasn't very menacing. Marlene stood up, raising her hands in the air. "Hi, Private."

"What did you... Oh." When Marlene stood up, it revealed that had not, in fact, killed Skipper, but had dressed his wounds. "Sorry, Marlene," Private apologized.

"Ra re." Rico followed suit, putting the explosives back in his backpack.

"Um, excuse me Rico, but could I have the keys." Rico removed the keys from his back pack and proceeded to free Kowalski.

"Thats better."

"Um, Kowalski, what happened."

Kowalski got the other two penguins up to speed on what had happened. As expected, Rico growled at Marlene and removed a stick of dynamite at the mention of her hitting Kowalski over the head with a frying pan. Marlene cringed. Kowalski motioned for him to put the explosive away.

"And, I'd thought Kowalski had finally created something that wouldn't have a negative impact on the team." Private remarked after Kowalski had finished his story.

"Well, at least it didn't threaten to blow up the eastern seaboard this time." Kowalski replied.

"Say what!?" Marlene exclaimed. The three teammates looked at each other, then back at Marlene.

"You didn't see anything," They said in unison, doing their best to mimic their leader.

"Yes I did. Your just implied that your inventions usually threaten to destroy the eastern seaboard."

"No, you didn't" The three penguins continued to speak in a slow hypnotic, Skipper-like voice, waving their hands slowly in front of their faces."

"Um... Yes I did." Marlene replied confused by the team's strange behavior. Rico slammed his flippers on the desk.

"Why does it only work when Skipper does it." Private complained.


	7. Skipper, James Skipper

**I decided to do this chapter James Bond style, I've been watching a lot of Bond movies recently. I've put in lots of hidden, and not so hidden, references if you feel like trying to spot them. I have a feeling everyone knows this, but I'll say it anyway: I don't won James Bond, or the Penguins of Madagascar.**

When Skipper had recovered enough, a meeting was called to discuss Skipper's misadventure. The four teammates sat around the kitchen table, each with a cup of coffee, except private who had a hot chocolate.

"Well, I guess you're all wondering how I ended up getting shot. I'll start from the beginning."

"Good Morning, Mr Henderson," Miss Penny, a receptionist greeted, "Would you happen to know where Marlene is?" Suddenly Skipper was alert. Why would Miss Penny think he would have any thing to do with that. "Well, I honestly don't know. I barely know her."

"Well, you see," the receptionist leaned in a little closer, "Word's been going round the offices that you and Marlene, like each other."

"Sorry?"

"Don't worry I won't tell."

"I'm sorry, Miss Penny, but I am quite sure whatever rumor you heard was false." Skipper walked towards the elevator to his office, relived that his cover hadn't been blown. Skipper rode the elevator to the twentieth floor, and made his way to his office, making sure everyone noticed him enter his corner office.

Once he had locked the door, he opened his briefcase and felt along the edge of the lining until he felt a small, hidden zipper. He slid this back, revealing a false bottom to his suitcase. Inside was a device, hopefully not one of Kowalski's, that looked like a harness attached to a length thin cable, much like a fishing line, with what looked like a robotic claw on the end. Skipper removed his jacket. With a small pocket knife he cut open the inside lining. Inside was a small bag containing various instruments that would be necessary in the upcoming operation. Finally, he picked up his cellphone. He unlocked the device, then tapped the top left corner of the screen and the bottom right simultaneously. The device's screen flipped open, revealing a small tube. Skipper removed this. Now that his equipment was ready, he scribbled a not saying: "conference call, first person who disturbs me is fired." he read it again and tore it up. That wasn't exactly the kind of thing that mild mannered John Henderson would write. He wrote a new note saying, "On an important call, please do not disturb, J.H." then slipped it under the door. He put on the harness. The robotic claw moved silently as it gripped the window frame, then Skipper tested the strength. It would probably hold his weight.

Skipper removed a screwdriver from the small bag he had taken from his blazer. He undid the screws on the window fastenings, allowing him to open it wide enough to climb out of. He clipped the small bag onto his belt, and attached the end of the cable without the claw on the harness. Then he climbed out of the window and hung by the cable for a few seconds, pressed a button on the side of device and it began to walk backwards down the side of the building as the device unwound more cable. He hoped nobody looked out of their window.

Kaz Kidson, a junior lawyer working on the nineteenth floor, stared out of the window, bored. "What the...!" She exclaimed. Was that the head of corporate crime, John Henderson walking down the side of the building dressed as some kind of commando.

"Kaz?" the girl in the office beside her poked her head over the blue partition. Kaz looked at the window again. Henderson was gone.

"Kaz? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so, but I could have sworn I saw the head of my division abseiling down the side of the building."

Skipper looked through the window into Hans' empty office. Skipper reached into his bag and pulled out his cellphone. Skipper opened the calculator application and typed in multiply, divide and six, in that order. The screen flashed and opened a screen with a single button which skipper tapped. This would loop the footage on the CCTV cameras until Skipper turned it off. Skipper removed a pair of goggles and put them on. They showed a network of sensors covering the floor. Hans was definitely hiding something. Skipper squeezed a clear liquid from the tube he had hidden in his cell phone on to the part of the window the lock was behind. The liquid started to eat through the window and through the dead bolt on the other side. Hans, for some unknown reason, always used a deadbolt on his windows, instead of one of the may high tech locks he had at his disposal. Probably budget constraints.

Skipper pulled a line launcher from the bag. He shot one end into the side of the wall farthest to him, and the other end into to the side of the window. Skipper attached his harness to the horizontal cable, checked it was secure, before detaching himself from the first line. He slowly pulled himself across the room, careful not to let his feet tough the floor. When he got to the center, he removed another line launcher and fired it at the wall just above the cabinets in the opposite direction.

"Boost mode, activated." an electronic voice announced. Kowalski just had to turn one of the line launchers into a remote control for the other. "Kowalski..." Skipper growled before some new 'improvement' catapulted him into the ceiling. Crash! Skipper landed on the floor, still dizzy from hitting the ceiling. Alarms blared, and Skipper could hear footsteps outside. He ran towards the window and attached himself to the cable hanging outside, as the door burst open and six armed guards entered. Skipper made sure too keep his face in shadow so as not to be recognized, as hit a button on the side of the abseiling device. "Kowalski, if I get out of this, I swear, you will spend the rest of your life on maintenance duty." Skipper grumbled as the device pulled him up towards his office, shots flying past him, only centimeters away.

He had only ascended three floors when he felt a bullet rip through his shoulder. Skipper continued to ascend despite the pain, he'd felt worse. This really wasn't his day. He had just passed the nineteenth floor when another lucky shot severed the cable. This was beyond all doubt, not his day. Skipper was plummeting towards the ground when, in less than a split second, noticed an office on the nineteenth floor had left their window open. Skipper grabbed the window with his good arm, his other hanging uselessly at his side. He looked up and noticed one of the young junior lawyers, Miss Kidson looking down at him unable to process the situation.

"Pull me up, NOW!" Skipper shouted.

"Wha... wha..." She stuttered.

"Pull me up or I fire you." Skipper shouted back, his grip already weakening. The amazed girl called a colleague and together, pulled him up.

"Expect a large bonus, a promotion and whatever else I can think of," Skipper thanked the two girls.

"Is your name Bond by any chance?" Kaz Kidson asked. Skipper thought for a few seconds.

"Yes, Bond, James Bond," Skipper answered. For once he was glad Private had that fake English accent. "What the..!" He exclaimed as, without warning, Kaz pulled him forward by his tie and kissed him on the lips. "Call me... James," She whispered in his ear.

"Um... Certainly, Kaz. Just promise not to blow my cover," Skipper replied as he climbed into an ventilation shaft.

"James Bond knows my name!" She screamed.

Skipper crawled out of the air vent and into his office. He shut the window and hid the equipment before tearing a strip of cloth from his shirt, using it as a makeshift bandage. That would, hopefully, keep him conscious long enough to get out of the building. He put his business suit on as fast as he could and ran out of his office, blending with the chaotic mess of screaming workers. Before long he was out of the office, but already his head was swimming. He climbed into his car. As he drove towards the temporary HQ, it was all he could do to prevent himself being pulled over for drunk driving. When he reached the house, he dragged himself out of the car. His vision swam. Just a few more steps. One. Two. Three. Blackness.

"Well, Kowalski, its a good thing you saved me, otherwise you'd be cleaning toilets with a toothbrush right now." Skipper finished his story, glaring at Kowalski.

"Well, um, Skippah," private started.

"No! No! Please, I don't want to clean toilets!" Kowalski mouthed the moment Skipper looked away.

"Actually it was Marlene who saved you, Kowalski was chained to the pipe with his 'so powerful not even I can escape them' handcuffs." Private continued.

"I hate you," mouthed the angry teammate, as he looked towards Skipper awaiting punishment. However, the leader seemed to be staring off into space.

"Earth oo ipper," Rico grunted, waving a hand in front of his face. Skipper returned to reality. "Well, Kowalski. I think you know where the toothbrushes are." Kowalski looked at Skipper guiltily.

"He did tell Marlene how to get the bullet out." Private added, "So he 50% saved you."

"OK, Kowalski," Skipper announced, as the teammate in question sighed with relief, "You only have to do half your life on maintenance duty, starting now."


	8. Love Hurts A Lot

**This is a bit of a long chapter. I was planing on splitting it in two or uploading it tomorrow, but I just couldn't wait!**

"Well, I think I should talk to Marlene." Skipper stood up from the table. The four teammates could hardly hold their excitement. They all knew Skipper liked Marlene, and hoped that now he would admit it. Private giggled. "Do you have something you want to say, Private," Skipper accused.

"No, sir. Feel free to ask Marlene on a da... I mean talk to her." Private replied, turning bright red,"Um... Freudian slip of the tongue?"

"Skipper likes Marleneeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Shouted MORT, Private cringed, "Are you going to ask her out?," The smart phone asked, a little quieter this time.

"Private, Mort, join Kowalski on maintenance." Private wilted under his leader's harsh glare.

"Um... Skippah, how can a, y' know, an phone do maintenance duty?" Asked Private.

"I don't care," replied Skipper, "Oh, and Kowalski."

"Yes, Skipper." Kowalski shouted from the bathroom, which he was cleaning with a toothbrush.

"I've just added an extra two years to your sentence for turning that thing on." Skipper shouted back.

"SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT!" Kowalski exclaimed.

Skipper walked up the stairs. The team was right. He did love her, but considering he and Marlene's current positions, it wasn't right for him to make any advances. The least he could do was allow her to 'escape'. How could he have done this to Marlene? He it took every ounce of willpower to knock on the door. He took a deep breath.

"Marlene?" There was no answer. "Marlene? Are you okay?" Still no answer. "Marlene?!" Now he was worried. He unlocked the door and walked inside. Marlene was nowhere in sight. Then he spotted a note lying on the desk. It read as follows: "I have your precious Marlene, I think you know who I am, and you will probably figure out where I have her."

Skipper slammed the not on the table.

"Blowhole has her. We got too close and he panicked." It was his fault. He had dragged an innocent girl into this insane world of lies and deceit. "Our cover's obviously blown," the leader continued, "We need to glean as much information as we can about the location of Blowhole's base. Kowalski, options!" Kowalski ran into the living room. He had heard everything.

"Well, I think the only option is a direct assault. We raid each location for information, and possibly the suspects themselves. They've probably already removed any trace of their criminal activity, but its the best chance we've got."

The school, Hans and Savio, and JulianTech were all empty. Archie and his gang had cleared out, taking any trace of their existence with them, Mr Hans and Mr Savio had gone on a 'business trip', after an 'accident' which resulted in the loss of all the firm's data. JulianTech was just as fruitless. The team had just arrived at the Clemson PLC when they heard a familiar voice scream, "HELP! SKIPPER!" The team lept from the car, running towards the sound of the scream.

"My, my, Skipper, you really must love you're girlfriend," The team whirled around to find themselves face to face with yet another old enemy, Clemson. Skipper was so worried he didn't even notice the comment about Marlene being his girlfriend.

"I should have known it was you, Clemson." Skipper glared as he drew his gun and pointed it at the red haired antagonist.

"Well I did name the company after my self, anyway that doesn't really matter. The point is, I have Miss Drew." Clemson pointed towards the crane above him. Suspended from the crane are, was Marlene! Clemson held up a remote control, with a single button. Skipper didn't need to ask what it did, one push of that button and Marlene would fall to her death.

"Hand her over, Clemson, or I swear..."

"You really aren't in a position to make demands," Clemson interrupted, "I, however, am."

"What do you want?" Skipper growled.

"You, Skipper. I am willing to trade her... for you."

"Why do you want me?" Asked Skipper, slightly perplexed.

"Really, Skipper, you do have a lot of trouble seeing the obvious, I suggest you get your eyes tested. Basically, I want you, because I want to kill you, slowly and painfully. I know you are about to ask why I don't simply shoot you. If I could simply shoot you, you'd already be dead. I hate to admit it, but you guys are just too fast."

"What about Blowhole?"

"What do you mean what about Blowhole?"

"I mean, I think there's something fishy going on because Blowhole would never give the go ahead on a deal like that."

"Your right, he wouldn't. In fact, he doesn't even know I'm doing this. You see, he was just going use her lure you to him, then go through the usual routine of he traps you, kills her as you watch, then you trash his base and escape. I realized, being the person assigned to kidnap Miss Drew, I'd could simply keep her, until someone would pay the right price. I am a business man, after all."

Marlene had heard the whole thing from her position hanging from the crane. She was dead. She had picked up, from conversations she'd overheard, that it didn't matter who it was, Skipper never negotiated for hostages, never mind complying with their terms. She didn't hold it against him that he was about to let her die. In fact, she felt sorry for him. Judging by his nightmares, she wasn't the first person he had lost. Wait a minute, why would he care. She was simply a prisoner he was going to kill anyway. Clemson was doing his dirty work for him. Marlene braced herself for the fall.

"I agree." Skipper stepped forward, dropping his gun at the same time. What?! Marlene felt herself being lowered to the ground.

"No gadgets, hidden weapons, and sneak attacks from your teammates after I've handed her over?" Clemson asked. Skipper took a deep breath.

"I give you my word." Skipper emptied his pockets, including the hidden ones. It was well known that Skipper was a man of his word. He would die before he broke it. Rico pulled a stick of dynamite out of his backpack.

"I gave my word, Rico," Skipper ordered, sternly. Rico looked at his leader helplessly as returned the explosive to his bag. Was there nothing he could do? Clemson motioned with his gun for Skipper to start walking.

"One second." Skipper walked up to Marlene. Her face was inches from his. He wasn't going to die without doing this first. He kissed her, long and passionately. At first Marlene stiffened, then began to kiss back. Kowalski covered Private's eyes.

"I don't have all day." Clemson interrupted. Skipper took one last look at the woman he loved. A tear trickled down her cheek. Skipper fought back the urge to cry too, but he had to be strong. For her and his team

"In case... I never see you again." Skipper whispered as they broke away. Then all too soon, he was gone.

"NEEDLES!" Skipper screamed in horror. He had endured three days of solid torture. Clemson had really meant it when he said he wanted Skipper to die painfully. Skipper struggled against his restraints as Clemson slowly brought the feared object, closer and closer to the screaming prisoner.

"You really are afraid of needles, aren't you." Clemson mocked, enjoying every second. Skipper squeezed his eyes shut, but nothing happened.

"Mr Clemson, Miss Romanov is hear to see you." The intercom announced. Clemson look back at his prisoner.

"It would seem you have a buyer." he announced, "As much as I want to kill you myself, and believe me, I really do, my main goal is to ruin Julian King, and by extension take over JulianTech." Clemson broke into maniacal laughter, "And to do that, unfortunately, I need capital. Don't worry, my client will make sure you suffer just as much as I would. Y'know, I'm really not surprised after what you did to her. Even I thought it was cruel." The door opened and an absolutely stunning woman in a long black dress entered the room.

"Kitka?" Skipper croaked.

"I'm glad you remember me," she spat.

"You have the money?" Clemson asked. Kitka snapped her fingers. Three men in suits and dark glasses stepped forward. They placed the briefcases they were carrying on the table and opened them.

"You can count if you want, but I assure you, the eight million is all there." Clemson motioned for her to proceed. The three men undid the straps holding him to the table, pushed him to the floor, and bound his hands behind his back, the cord cutting into his wrists. He was dragged to his feet. Kitka slapped him across the face."It was a pleasure doing business with you." Clemson called after her as she turned and left. Skipper was dragged after her.

**Schr****ödin****ger's cat was a thought experiment created by the physicist Edwin Schrödinger in which a theoretical cat is both alive and dead simultaneously (superposition) because of the uncertainty principle. Don't worry if you cant understand it, because I cant. I just thought it sounded like something Kowalski would say.**


	9. The Million Dollar Penguin

**Before anyone comments about the title, I havent forgotten that the story is humanized (again). It sounded better than The (Multi) Million Dollar Skipper.**

"Just like Monte-Carlo, in '98." Skipper reminisced. He was seated next to Kitka in the back of a limousine.

"What? The one where I had to bail you, Manfridi and Johnson out of that casino?" Kitka raised an eyebrow.

"Our cover was blown!" Skipper replied defensively. He didn't like where the conversation was headed.

"More like you lost too much." Kitka teased

"Kitka!"

"Fine, go ahead. Change the subject."

"Can you untie me first?" Kitka looked out of th window behind her. She noticed a black, nondescript car. It had been following them since they left the construction site.

"Sorry Skipper, have to keep up the 'I absolutely despise you' act. We're being followed." Kitka slapped him across the face.

"What was that for?!" Skipper asked, slightly offended, but mostly confused.

"I just want to be convincing."

"This isn't revenge for that night in London?" Skipper asked warily.

"Nope. I don't hold it against you that you were disgusted by me mistaking Julian King for a hot dog and trying to eat him."

"Yeah right."

Skipper lay on the couch in Kitka's penthouse on top of the Consolidated Amalgamated Building as he received much needed medical attention. "So what brings you to New York?" Skipper asked, wincing as a wound on his back was cleaned.

"A deal with JulianTech. In fact if this deal goes through, I'll be in a position to buy it out. That's why Clemson was so eager to impress me."

"I guess some of us get out of this game rich." Skipper replied with a hint of jealousy.

"If I hadn't you'd be dead. You cost me a couple of million. Regardless of how successful you and your team have been, I doubt Rockgut would have met Clemson's price."

"Speaking of the current mission, what's the plan for getting me back to the team. The building's being watched right?"

"Same plan as Moscow in '05."

"I swore I would never again wear a chicken suit!" Skipper stated indignantly.

"Don't worry, I'm not following it word for word. Now here's the plan..."

MORT was silent. MORT was never silent, but even a cellphone with artificial intelligence, knew what had been lost. Everyone was seated around the kitchen table in the new safe house, which was almost exactly like the previous one, but in a different neighborhood. Ironically, the sun was shining and they could hear the sound of a child's laughter from the house next door. However, if you had asked any of those people sitting around the kitchen table, they'd have told you the sky was gray, the world colorless, and the child's laughter a mockery of their situation.

Kowalski scribbled pointlessly on his clipboard. He should have foreseen the whole scenario. Blowhole always hacked their TV when he wanted to send them a message, and Hans preferred to deliver whatever news he had in person. Archie? Well he was just a kid. Blowhole obviously wasn't behind the kidnapping. Then there was the construction site. Clemson PLC. That was just too obvious. Even MORT could have worked it out. Even if he hadn't worked out all of that he should have known that if any one of the team's enemies was going to break the pattern and do something productive it would be Clemson. He should have seen it coming. He should have... There was nothing he could do. For all his knowledge and experience, he couldn't even save his own leader.

"Kaboom," thought Rico. He had always considered an explosion the answer to everything. It simply destroyed the problem, leaving nothing behind but wreckage and ash. "No kaboom." Rico muttered. No amount of kaboom could possibly bring Skipper back... Maybe Skipper was still alive, he could rescue him, with a kaboom, and everything would be alright. Kaboom could still solve everything! No. He couldn't. Skipper had given his word. His word... That was the problem. If Rico hadn't listened to him, had gone ahead killed Clemson, Skipper would still be alive. Clemson wouldn't have time to hit the button. Why had he hesitated!?

Marlene hid the photograph from the rest of the room. She had stolen it from Kowalski's lab while she was dressing Skipper's wound. She didn't know why she took it, she just kind of did. It was the photograph of Skipper, Manfridi, and Johnson. Skipper looked so alive, so happy, but then so did the two men standing next to him. Why had it taken her till the last moment she ever saw him alive to realize just how much she loved him. She thought back to the moment she was hanging from that crane, thinking she was about to fall to her death. What had she thought of? Herself. She was so selfish, the only thing she could thing of was her survival. How scared SHE was. How much SHE hoped the fall would be painless. It had occurred to her to think how Skipper felt. She wished she could say, the moment she thought she was going to die, all she could think of was Skipper, and how much she loved him, but that would be a lie. Skipper had been so selfless, volunteering for days of physical and psychological torture, followed by a painful death, to save her. She didn't deserve it. She was unworthy of Skipper's final gift.

Private stared out of the window of the new safe house. He knew this feeling well. It was how he felt the day his biological father had died. It was the same way he felt the day Skipper had ripped the knife out of his hand and told him that he wouldn't let him die too. That was two fathers he'd lost to Blowhole and his associates. Rico's backpack lay on the table in front of him. It contained a variety of deadly weapons. He could end it all now... No! He remembered what Skipper had said to him all those years ago. "I won't let you die, not when you have so much more to live for." for those few minutes Skipper had forgotten he was a heartless, objective leader and hugged him like was his own son. Private knew what he needed to do.

"Listen. We can't just sit here. Blowhole has to be stopped." Everyone looked at the fourteen year old. It seemed strange to hear him sound so commanding. He was normally so quiet and naive, "Skippah wouldn't want us to sit here drowning in self pity. He would want us to continue the mission. Kowalski, start working on options." Kowalski simply sat there staring, "I... I... I cant. Not without Skipper. We cant fight Blowhole without a leader" Kowalski stuttered.

"Is that insubordination, soldier?" Private demanded. It was scary just how much he sounded like Skipper, "Do you job or I swear I will have you courts-martialed! Now Skipper is gone and you and Rico seem unable to cope with the situation I am now the acting captain of this unit." Private ordered. Yet underneath his forceful exterior, Private was just as afraid as the others, but it had to be done. Its what Skipper would have wanted.

"Kowalski, I'm adding a year to your sentence. How dare you disobey Acting Captain Private." All eyes turned towards the two people standing just inside the doorway. There stood Kitka and one of her body guards. "Well, Skipper, I think we've established the fact that my eight million was well spent." Kitka replied, "They really need you don't they. Well, Private's Skipper impression was pretty cute." The team looked around. Skipper was nowhere in sight. They must have imagined it. Then the body guard removed his sunglasses. It was Skipper!

"So Kowalski, what are our options?" Kowalski stared at the seemingly random notes on his clipboard, that nobody but him seemed to be able to understand.

"Well, Skipper, It would seem we have a problem: we have no idea where Blowhole's lair is."

"Well, thank you for those helpful options Kowalski. You win the stating the obvious award." Skipper replied sarcastically. Marlene watched as the two men argued, years of maintenance duty being steadily added to Kowalski's half life and three year sentence.

"Are you looking for the man who rides around on de weirdy rolly thingy?" MORT asked.

"Doctor Blowhole? Did he have a mechanical eye?" Skipper asked, forgetting to reprimand Kowalski for leaving the annoying device on.

"Well, his eye was all red and glowy and spoooooky." MORT replied.

"Where did you see him?" Skipper demanded. A map appeared on MORT's screen. An arrow pointed to the old Atlantic View Aquarium.

"Target located. Lets move out, men."


	10. Stop Following Me!

Skipper and his team hid in the shadows of a building across the road from the old abandoned Atlantic View Aquarium. "Kowalski, situation analysis." Skipper whispered as one of Blowhole's lobster guards patrolled past. The guards had gotten the name "lobster" from the bright red armour they wore. They really did look a lot like lobsters.

"Well, Skipper. Blowhole's base is almost always under ground. So we can assume that when we enter the building, we will fall through a trap door in the floor and land some kind of cage as usual. However, if we were to folow one of the lobsters to the entrance that they use, it probably wouldent be a trap. Otherwise we just go through like we always do, and end up getting trapped, then escaping, destroying the base etc. etc." Kowalski answered.

"Well, I'm all in favor of doing it the tried and true way." Skipper replied. The other members of the team simply stood there, surprised by Skipper's completely illogical decision.

"But, Skipper, that would take 5.0063 times longer and increase the risk of failure to 98%!"

"98% works for me." Skipper replied. He obviously wasnt one for change. Kowalski thought about this for a few seconds then

"Thanks to Clemson, Blowhole knows you're greatest fear. If you're captured, Blowhole might use needles." That was a low blow, and Kowalski knew it. However, it did seem necessary.

"NEEDL...!" Skipper shouted, before bing silenced by a slap from Rico.

"Shh."

The lobster guard tapped a series of bricks, like a password, and the section of the wall slid open.

"Did anyone make a note of that password?" Kowalski asked.

"Nope." The group replied in unison.

"I thought that was your job, Kowalski." Private observed.

"Well... um... Y'know..."

The wall closed behind them. They were plain concrete room. Apart from the door behind them, which was now locked. The lobster was nowhere in sight.

"Does anyone get the feeling this is a trap?" Asked Skipper.

"Nope."

"Ot eally,"

"Not at this point in time and space"

"Hm... I guess my gut was wrong." Skipper began to tap around the walls and floors for a secret entrance.

"Hello, pen-gu-ins." A voice announced over a hidden speaker.

"Blowhole! Wait... how do you know our code name? I'm pretty sure thats tippy top tippy top most secret and classified!"

"Lets just say there are benefits to having your sister date a certain member of this team."

"Doris!" Kowalski wailed, "You betrayed me!"

"Well, I told you so," Skipper smirked, "Come on Kowalski, give me the twenty dollars." Kowalski reluctantly paid his debt.

"Kowalski! Howdareyoubetonourrelationsh ip..." Kowalski cringed. Doris had a pretty fiery temper. This was followed by a loud crash and what sounded like Blowhole bing chased around the room.

"To return to the point." He shouted as he attemted to avoid his angry sister I knew Kowalski would be able to convince you to try the new entrance, so I put the trap there instead of at the front door. You pen-gu-ins are so predictable, especially so to a genius like me." Suddenly, the walls began to move, getting closer and closer together. In a few seconds they would be crushed.

"Kowalski! We need options! Now!" Skipper shouted trying keep somewhat calm.

"Um... Kaboom?" Before Kowalski could finish his answer, Rico had already chosen his explosive and lit the fuse. By the time Kowalski had noticed the explosives existence, Rico had already placed it. The team, except Rico took cover. KABOOM! The smoke cleared. The walls were still there without even a scratch. Rico panicked, "Kaboom! Kaboom! Kaboom!" Why wasn't the room reduced to rubble? There probably wasn't enough explosives. Immediately Rico pulled out as many explosives as he could. It was amazing how much he could fit in that backpack. "No Rico!" Kowalski shouted, "You blow us all to pieces!"

"No kaboom." Rico replied sadly. The team looked at the walls, they were only a few feet away! Just when the team thought they were done for, the walls stopped.

The door swung open revealing a small electronic device, driving forward on four furry, and by now very dirty, wheels. "Hello, Skipper. May I hug de feet?" Never before had they been so happy to hear the small devices annoying little voice. In fact, they'd never been happy to hear it.

"MORT!" The team shouted in unison. Skipper looked at MORT sceptically. "Why didn't you tell me you could walk?"

"I didn't want to do maintenance duty." The small device replied. Kowalski rolled his eyes.

"So why did you follow us?"

"De psycho guy took my charger..." The screen went black. He really did need that charger. Kowalski picked him up and replaced his battery. "Feeeeeeeeet," MORT shouted as he booted up. After which he made a dive for Private's feet, obviously mistaking them for Julian's.

"Kowalski, restrain the stowaway." Skipper ordered. Kowalski lifted the small device off Private's feet and dropped it in Rico's bag. The team squeezed their way out of the, now extreamly tiny, room. Now that they knew the front door was unguarded, it would be pretty easy to enter the base.

They hid behind the seats in the main auditorium. The main pool had been drained and replaced with desks at which minions monitored various computers and instruments. At one end of the room was a gigantic monitor showing the plans for yet another evil scheme. Hans stood on the far side of the room, practicing his fish fencing. Near him stood Archie and a group of kids that Private identified as the 'naughty children' from his high school. Blowhole and Doris were nowhere in sight.

"Hi guys." Immediately all eyes were on the newcomer.

"Marlene! I thought I ordered you to remain at the HQ." A very surprised Skipper exclaimed.

"Well, guess what, unlike your little commando team, you don't get to order your girlfriend around." Marlene replied. Skipper sighed wearily. There was no talking her into going back. He just had to continue the mission. He turned to Kowalski.

"Well, once again we have no idea where Blowhole is after searching the entire building. Kowalski, do you have any options that actually count as options?"

"Actually, I do."


	11. A Deadly Countdown

"So thats the plan, Private. It all hinges on you." Private rememberd what Kowalski had told him as he re-entered the aquarium, this time attracting as much attention as possible. A lobster guard ran out of the shadows, pointing his weapon at Private.

"Hold it. What do you think your doing here?" The guard questined. Private pretended to be nervous.

"Archie told me to meet him here for some sort of club." Private replied.

"Come with me."

Once again he was in the auditorium. Archie was still there. The guard marched him up to the group of kids, Archie seemed to be briefing them on something.

"Hey, kid. This guy says you invited him here." The guard told Archie.

"I don't remember..." Archie furrowed his brow in thought.

"You told me to come here if I wanted to see a good time, y'know in Mr McDonald's class." Skipper had taught Private, that if a person was unsure of what they should say, if you keep repeating a believable story to them, they'll probably play along. Private hoped that was true of Archie.

"I dunno..."

"You said to come 'round hear at eight. That we were all gonna have a party." Private was starting to get nervous. What if Archie didn't fall for it.

"Yeah... I remember," The guard lowered his weapon, "Go stand next to Tim, he'll tell you whats going on." Private did as he was told, and joined Tim at the back of the crowd.

"So, when's the party?" Private asked.

"Not exactly a party. Basically, we're going to overthrow the teachers." Tim answered.

"Overthrow the teachers? I tried that at my last school. Sure, they ran away, but more came to take their place. That was... seventh... no, tenth school I was kicked out of."

"Seriously, we're overthrowing the whole system. This guy, Blowhole, he's got some kind of influence over the government. We're gonna storm the school and he's gonna make sure nobody knows about it. All we have to do is sneak into JulianTech with this box when we go on that school trip. Then when we plug it in to some thing called an AIOSC."

"You mean the JulianTech Artificial Intelligence Operated Sonic Cannon?"

"Yeah... How'd you know?"

"I overheard my cousin talking about it. He works at JulianTech. I was curious, so I looked at his notes. Its a variation on the JulianTech sonic cannon, but it has an AI targeting system, which essentially means it can fire unmanned, because it can think for itself."

"I never figured you were a geek."

"I'm not, but my cousin works on some pretty cool weapons." private acted like he didn't know that what he was saying was classified. Tim raised his hand. "Archie, Tom's cousin works at JulianTech. Tom seems to know a lot about how this AIOSC thing works." Tim had taken the bait. Now it was all up to Archie.

"Hey, Tom, what's the AIOSC's first prototype's code name?"

"Badger." Private replied. Kowalski had given him a crash course in the less classified features, and a list of believable lies for the incredibly classified ones. He just hoped he's remembered all. Archie whispered something to the lobster next to him. He turned to private, scrutinizing him.

"Thats some pretty useful information. If you follow me..."

Archie led Private out of the building and towards a waiting car. He was instructed to put on a blind fold. They drove for about fifteen minutes, then the car stopped and the blindfold was removed. They were standing on the edge of an empty pier.

"This way." Archie beckoned for Private to step closer to the edge. Archie jumped over the side. Private ran forward to check if he was alright. However, when he arrived at Archie's previous position, he discovered his fears were groundless. Archie had landed on what looked like a giant beach ball, but was actually a submarine. Private hesitated. He was about to enter the lair of one of the most dangerous evil sciantists in history's lair... alone.

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

The corridors were far better lit and much more spacious than those of the other submarines Private had been on. He followed the lobster, charged with taking him to Blowhole, through the winding corridors of the massive vessel.

"Hey, ain't I seen you before?" The guard asked suspiciosly. Immediately Private lowered his head, hoping to hide his face.

"Not that I know of." Private replied hurriedly. The lobster opened a door. Private entered. He was in a large room, similar to the one in the aquarium. A man and a woman, each standing on a segway, were examining a monitor. He recognized the man to be Dr Blowhole and assumed that the girl was Doris.

"So, you tried to infiltrate my organization, by selling classified secrets. You really must be getting desperate." Blowhole's insane laughter echoed through the room, "I guess Kowalski's inferior brain never considered the fact that you would be brought before me. Or did he think I wouldn't be able to recognize you..."

"Kowalski's brain is no more inferior than yours!" Doris interrupted.

"In the middle of an interrogation/gloating moment, Doris. Not helping," He whispered to is sister. He turned to face Private again, " Anyway, pen-gu-in, shall I continue? Right, I would like tell you my evil scheme, but I really don't have time. Unless you have anything to add, I wish to proceed with killing you."

"Well, there is one thing."

"Make it quick!"

"You know how you were saying that Kowalski hadn't been counting on me being taken to you. Well, he was actually counting on that, wasnt he Skippah!" The triumphant smile disappeared from Private's face, "Skippa Oh my..."

Private froze. They had been planning on Blowhole telling him his evil scheme. That would have given him enough time for the others to arrive. They had planted a tracking device on him before he entered the aquarium.

"Couldn't you just lock him up for a while?" Doris asked, "I mean he's just a kid..."

"Alright Doris. I'll just finish talking to him. Why don't you go check on Mr King?" One look at Blowhole's stone cold face told him he wasn't telling the truth. Doris drove out of the room.

"Doris! He isn't telling the... truth..." The door slammed shut. His last chance of survival had just left the room.

"Telling tales pen-gu-in?" Blowhole mocked, "And I thought you were always so well behaved. I guess I'll have to teach you a lesson..."


	12. ETA in 8 Minutes 34 Seconds

**Hi again! I know I haven't added many authors comments in this story, but there's a couple of things I'd like to address. Firstly, I just want to warn everyone that I have changed the rating from K to T (well I did a couple of weeks ago). This chapter is going to be pretty dark and violent at the end. I'm just saying this because I got a review for chapter five saying that the blood was a bit scary. If you thought chapter five was scary, I recommend you skip this one. I'm happy to write a quick, non-gory summary at the beginning of the next chapter if you want to know what happens but avoid the blood. Just ask in the review section or PM me.**

**Secondly, I just want to say a quick thank you to EppopinkfangirlXDXDXD for reminding me that I was starting to lose the spirit of the characters a bit, sorry I had been watching a lot of Bond movies recently. If you think I'm going a bit off character, please remind me!**

**Finally, I know my spell checking gets especially bad ( I always read my work through twice before uploading) on the emotional chapters. So it's probably going to be pretty bad. Please excuse it.**

**Will Private live or die! Mwahahaha...**

_00:08.34 until estimated time of arrival_

Private mentally counted down the time it would take for the team to arrive, as he dodged blasts from the plasma blaster Blowhole was firing. Private dived behind a table and flinched as it was reduced to ash before running to the next one. Would they get here before Blowhole got lucky?

They had forcibly confined Marlene to her quarters in the temporary HQ. For those who don't speak Skipper, that means they locked her in, which was fortunate considering the fact Skipper had allowed Rico to drive in the interests of speed. It was easy to judge just how unsafe this was by the amount of property damage they had left behind. Kowalski felt slightly sorry for the person they had commandeered the car from. They obviously wouldn't be getting it back in somewhat recognizable condition, and it was a pretty nice car.

_00:06.03 until estimated time of arrival_

Private narrowly dodged a dodged a blast. He could smell burning hair. It certainly was a close one. At least the lobsters had all left as soon as they had heard the shots. Surprisingly Blowhole didn't seem concerned about this. Private assumed he was to focused on killing him.

"Turn left... No I mean right!... Sorry, my mistake, left. Rico! You've gone past the turnoff!" Kowalski shouted as he gave Rico directions on how to reach the place the tracker's signal placed Private.

"aap eein a ack see iver." Rico muttered, knowing full well that he was completely reliant on Kowalski's directions.

"Would you two stop it!? We're on a mission. Kowalski, stop being a back seat driver. Rico stop yelling at Kowalski. Sorted? Good" An exasperated Skipper ordered. There was something about high speed road trips that turned the team into four year olds.

_00:03.00 until estimated time of arrival_

Private was already beginning to tire. He didn't know how much longer he could keep this up. Already he'd had a couple of near misses. His luck wouldn't hold out forever.

The three men looked down at the submarine.

"So here's the plan," Skipper announced, "Now that we know where Blowhole is, all of that sneaky spy stuff goes out the window. We charge strait in and blow up anything in our way. Comprende? Good..."

"Skipper," Kowalski interrupted, "Considering the fact that an explosion, or the shrapnel resulting from the explosion, is extremely likely rupture the hull, perhaps it would be safer to use something other than explosives?"

"So your point is?"

"Aren't you even slightly worried that we may cause the entire vessel to sink with us inside?" Kowalski asked.

"Nope." Skipper replied confidently "Alright boys, commence operation: blast our way into the submarine that looks like a beach ball. Lethal force is authorized."

_00:01.42 until estimated time of arrival_

Private looked around him. All the desks had been destroyed. He was out of cover. Blowhole drove forward, taking his time. There was nowhere for Private to run. Then out of the corner of his eye Private spotted a broken monitor on the floor. It must have been blown clear from one of the desks the plasma blaster destroyed. Private made a dive for it. Would he be able to grab it in time? Blowhole smiled.

"Good bye pen-gu-in."

Skipper, Kowalski and Rico entered the room and faced Blowhole. "It would seem you were too late to save your little friend." Blowhole laughed.

"NO!" Skipper screamed running towards Private's badly charred body. Kowalski held him back.

"Skipper, he's trying to get you into the open so he can shoot you too. Private's already dead. Nobody could survive those burns. There's nothing we can do." Skipper continued to struggle against his lieutenant. If he had been thinking strait he would have had Kowalski down in seconds, but in his current emotional state, Kowalski was able to hold him back.

"Skipper, please, come to your senses!" Kowalski pleaded. Skipper stopped struggling and glared at the evil doctor.

"You... You just killed my son!" Skipper screamed.

"Boo hoo." Blowhole replied sarcastically. Skipper ran towards the maniacal doctor, dodging blasts from Blowhole's gun. When Skipper was within three feet of his target he threw himself forward, slamming his full body weight into the stunned scientist. The force knocked him off his segway and onto the floor. Kowalski and Rico ran over as fast as they could only to see Skipper systematically subjecting him to every horrific torture he could inflict with his bare hands, keeping the pain just low enough that Blowhole conscious. Kowalski had never seen Skipper like this, not even when Manfridi and Johnson died. Rico flinched, this kind of brutality was too much even for Rico.

"Stop Skipper!" Kowalski screamed, trying not to be sick as he heard crunch after crunch, scream after scream. Skipper didn't stop, if anything he picked up the pace.

"Ipper!" Rico shouted. The two teammates were too shocked to do anything but watch.

Blowhole's broken form slammed into the computer. Siren's wailed and a robotic sounding voice announced, "Self destruct sequence initiated." Immediately there was the sound of an explosion worthy of Rico. Chunks of the ceiling fell to the floor. Skipper leveled his gun at Blowhole's head. Doris drove into the room.

"Little B, whats going on..." She froze as soon as she saw Blowhole's broken form. She ran towards her younger brother. Then she saw Skipper, and the gun.

"What have you done to him!" She screamed.

"Justice." Skipper replied, with a calm and deadly expression on his face. The floor behind Doris collapsed. She didn't seem to notice.

"You monster!" Doris went to grab the gun from Skipper's hand. Skipper fired a warning shot just as floor in front of her crumbled away.

"DORIS!" Blowhole and Kowalski shouted in horror. Doris grabbed the edge of the floor, hanging by one hand. The ground below Skipper shifted, and he and his teammates found themselves on one side of wide and seemingly infinitively deep precipice, with Blowhole and Doris on the other side. Skipper kept his gun trained on his enemy. Blowhole dragged himself towards his sister, his legs twisted in at unnatural angles. It must have taken an amazing amount of will power to overcome the pain and drag himself to his sister's rescue.

"Stay where you are." Skipper commanded, "You know it wont take much convincing to make me pull the trigger."

"Let me save her!" Blowhole screamed, "For mackerel's sake she's my sister!"

"And Private was my son. Now we're even." Skipper replied, his expression cold and calculated.

"She had nothing to do with Private's death! She didn't even know I was going to kill him. I told her I was setting him free!" Tears streamed down Blowhole's face as he watched his sister's grip weaken.

"Skipper, please, let him pull her up!" Kowalski pleaded. As much as he wanted Blowhole dead, himself, Kowalski wouldn't let Skipper do so at the cost of another life, especially Doris'. He looked at the gun, calculating every possible scenario. He could try to kick it out of Skipper's hand, but there was a 84% chance the gun would fire before he could point the gun away from Blowhole. For the first time in his life, Kowalski thought the odds were too dire. Skipper felt a hand on his shoulder. When he turned around he saw the last person he had ever expected. "Please Skippah." Private pleaded. Skipper lowered the gun and Blowhole pulled his sister to safety.

"Private? How!?" Skipper stared as if he had seen a ghost.

"The monitor absorbed most of the blast." Private replied. He couldn't believe what Skipper was about to do. He knew Skipper's moral code was far permitting of violence than his own, but to go this far. Even over him... Who was this man he thought he knew so well. That cold, calculating, deadly look. It was far more frightening than the on Blowhole wore when he 'killed' him.

"Those burns. You couldn't have survived..."

"The remains of a strawberry milkshake and a couple of circuit boards." Private hugged his father figure, "I'm alive Skipper. Its okay." Tears rolled down the leaders face.

"I thought... I'd lost you."

A chunk of the ceiling landed next to them.

"We have to get out NOW!" Kowalski shouted, "Complete structural failure will happen in less time than it will take me to give you options concerning it, so get the hell out of here!" Skipper nodded and started follow the Rico out of the room.

"Kowalski!" Doris shouted, supporting Blowhole's barely conscious form. They were standing on an island of floor, everything around them had collapsed, "Kowalski!? You aren't going to leave me here..." The sciantist looked behind him. He looked ten years older than he had a few seconds ago.

"Doris, you broke my heart, betrayed me, and helped the guy who tried to kill the kid I think of as my little brother," Kowalski stared wearily at the woman who had once meant the world to him, "But I wont leave you to die." He tossed the pair a grappling gun each.

"Find your own way out." Kowalski called over his shoulder as he disappeared into the darkness.

"Kowalski! Don't you love me?!"

"The woman I loved died a long time ago."


	13. Private

"Skipper! Whatthehelldidyouthinkyouwer edoing..." Marlene shouted as Skipper entered the room, "Youdonthavetherighttolockmei nhere."

"Not a good time, Marlene." He growled as he walked past her. She knew there was something wrong so decided to simply stop talking, "Kowalski, treat Private's burns. If you have anything to report, I'll be in my quarters." Skipper stormed up the stairs.

"Really, Skippah, their very minor burns. I'm quite alright." Private called after him. They heard a door slam and lock upstairs.

"What happened?" Asked Marlene. Rico pulled a first aid kit out of his knapsack and tossed it to Kowalski. Kowalski removed some burn ointment and began to apply it to Private's injuries.

"Well, Skipper sent me to..." Private began.

"Classified," Rico grunted.

"I think it would be best if Marlene knew, Rico." Kowalski began to recount the events of the previous night.

"I see. So if Skipper's upset why doesn't he talk about it?" Marlene asked after Kowalski had finished.

"Skippah's not really like that. Whenever something upsets him he just kind of... keeps it to himself." Marlene considered this for a few seconds, then began to walk towards the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Private asked.

"To talk to Skipper."

She knocked on the door to Skipper's room.

"If its not Kowalski reporting on Private's condition, go away." Skipper shouted from inside the room.

"Yes... Its... um... Me, Kowalski." Marlene replied in her best Kowalski impression.

"I know its you, Marlene," Skipper wasn't fooled, "I told you to leave me alone." Now that was something she simply couldn't do. She marched down the stairs.

"Rico, grappling gun." She ordered. Rico obliged.

"Do you even know how to use one?" Kowalski asked.

"Nope, but I'm about to work it out." She called over her shoulder as she stormed out of the house and walked around to the side Skipper's window was on. She tried to remember what she had seen the team doing during daily training. She fired, aiming for the open window, and surprisingly it held. She pressed a button and was catapulted into the room.

Skipper was already in a fighting stance before Marlene could register what had happened. He struck out at the unknown enemy, without even checking to see who it was.

"Skipper!" Marlene dodged a kick, countering with an elbow to the face, "snap out or it!" Skipper blocked her strike and punched. He was obviously holding back, but the act of fighting someone other than himself would do him good.

"I nearly got Private killed!" Skipper shouted as Marlene knocked his feet out from under, "How can I 'snap out' of something like that!"

"You gave Private a comparatively safe mission that went wrong because of reasons beyond your control," Marlene replied as Skipper jumped to his feet, at the same time grabbing her by the throat and pinning her against the wall.

"I sent him on a solo mission, breaking the penguin division credo, endangering his life. Private was obviously too young for that kind of mission." Skipper tightened his grip, "Private has seen things, done things, that a kid his age shouldn't even see on TV!"

"Skipper, your hurting me!" Marlene choked. Skipper looked down Marlene, suddenly realizing what he was doing. He released his grip.

"I'm sorry. It's just... You were right about Private. I only just realized that." Skipper checked she was alright as she recovered, gasping for air. Skipper offered her a chair.

"I still remember the day I met him," Skipper recalled, "We were on a mission... in London. Some evil organization, their name is currently classified, was chasing us, and we needed somewhere to hide. We broke into a random house and hid until they had passed. We were about to leave when a little kid spotted us and asked what we were doing, standing between us and the door. For some, I still don't know why, I told him the truth. He stood aside. He didn't call the police. Later, when we were returning to the HQ, we passed the house and..." Skipper's face contorted with pain.

"It's okay, if you don't want to..."

"I want you to know what happened," Skipper took a deep breath, "They'd worked out which house we had hidden in. They tried to get Private's parents to tell them where we were, but they didn't know anything. The mother knew Private was the only one in the house at the time, and told them that, in exchange for her own freedom. They were about to shoot her anyway when Private's father put himself between her and the gun, taking the bullet himself. That was when we walked in. We gave them a taste of their own medicine, then shot them. Kowalski comforting Private in the other room. Then we left. We came back a few weeks later to check how they were doing, and to say thank you. When we got there, his mother was drunk senseless, and Privat had run away from home. Of course we split up and began a grid search to find him. I found him. He was in an alleyway not far from his house, clutching a knife. I knew what he was about to do. I snatched the knife out of his hand before... Then he started to cry and... I... for once, I.. I hugged him back."

"I'm sorry..."

"We couldn't send him home, not with a mother like that. We looked after him for a few days while he recovered. I had decided to call social services to pick him up once I thought he wasn't going to kill himself the moment you took your eyes off him, but when the time came to make the call, Private stopped me. I begged him to go, I told him it wasn't safe for him to come with us. In the end I forced him, but he just kept running away from the various foster homes he was sent to, and somehow tracking us down. Meanwhile the organization had tracked down his mother and killed her. That was the last straw. If he was on the streets, or in something other than witness protection, it was only a matter of time till they got him too. Kowalski hacked the records so it seemed like a certain alias of mine was his next of kin. Then I turned up as a long lost uncle to collect him. I used various forged documents to prove I was a wealthy, stable, business man, who was also best friends with their boss, and they let me take him. After that, I trained him like another member of my team. My boss changed the records so his name was Timothy Douglass, son of Lincoln Douglas, and 19 years old."

Marlene gave Skipper a few seconds before continuing. "You killed her, didn't you," Marlene said in a voice far too calm for the serious accusation she was making.

"What do you mean I killed her?" Skipper feigned ignorance.

"You killed Private's mother." Skipper stared at Marlene like a trapped animal for a few seconds before continuing.

"Yes. I did. After betraying her son and allowing him to become so depressed he was about to commit suicide without even noticing, I think she deserved it." Skipper growled, barely audible.

"You never told Private?"

"What, did you think I could simply walk up to him one day and say "Hey Private, did you know I killed your mother? Cause I did."" Skipper glared at Marlene He'd always regretted killing Private's mother, orphaning Private, but he'd just been so angry... Marlene seemed to notice his internal conflict and moved closer to him, despite the fact that his actions, frankly, frightened her. What kind of man would half strangle his girlfriend then admit that he murdered his adopted son's mother?

"Anyone have any preferences on what they want me to cook?" Private shouted. Marlene gently nudged Skipper, returning him to reality.

"You feel up to some dinner?" Marlene asked. Skipper looked up, slowly processing the new information.

"Sure." Skipper considered this some more, "Why don't we go out for dinner?"

"Good idea. I think we're out of food anyway. I'll go tell the others."

"No... I meant... Just you and me."

"What? Like a date?"

"Of course not..." Skipper blushed. Marlene raised an eyebrow. He took a deep breath before continuing, "Yes. Like a date." Marlene smiled, but the smile turned to a disappointed frown.

"Whats wrong," Skipper asked, noticing Marlene's mood change. Was it too soon? He really shouldn't have told her about Private's mother just before asking her on a date. Skipper tensed, awaiting the words "lets just be friends."

"I haven't got anything to wear." Skipper mentally breathed a sigh of relief, "You kinda didn't let me pack before... you, y'know, kidnapped me."

"Yeah, um, sorry about that," Skipper stared at his feet uncomfortably. That wasn't exactly something he was proud of doing. Then he had an idea. He poked his head around the door and shouted, "Rico, evening dress!"

"Rico keeps a dress in his backpack?" Marlene asked.

"Yeah. It actually belongs to Miss Perky."

"Who's she?"

"Classified."

"Why do I even ask."


	14. Table For Two

He and Marlene were led to a candlelit table. Skipper held the menu in front of his face to hide his nervousness. He'd been on dates before, but he hadn't really cared if the girl liked him or not. It was normally just part of the mission. For a few seconds, there was silence.

"I'm guessing that menu unlocks the great mysteries of the universe." Marlene joked. Skipper turned bright red and put the menu down.

"So I'm guessing, now that the mission's over, you'll have a lot more free time?"

"I wish. Mission reports, my resignation from Hans and Savio, I never did get to kill that guy... Maybe I'll get an opportunity later, but he's probably fled the country by now..." Marlene gave him a funny look.

"I'm guessing you don't go on dates with normal people much."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, most people don't tell their dates about how their planning to kill their arch enemy."

"You have a point. This date thing is harder than the time me and Manfridi and Johnson were stuck in detention with one of the best agents in penguin division history. I had really wanted to meet the guy, just not in detention."

"So how did you get out of that one?" It was a bizarre atmosphere. A romantic, candlelit dinner, combined with conversations about espionage.

"I didn't." Skipper chuckled. Marlene picked up her menu.

"What are you ordering?"

"Thats classified."

"Really! Is everything classified?!"

"I was only joking, Marlene." Skipper spotted someone in the crowd, and waved his hand to get his attention. The man came over.

"Hi Leonard, long time no see," Skipper greeted the man standing at their table,"Marlene, this is Leonard. He owns the place. Leonard, this is my girlfriend Marlene. I met Leonard a couple of years ago when we were assigned to help him with his sleep fighting problem."

"Sleep fighting?" Marlene asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't ask."

"Why now, Skipper?!" Leonard interrupted, "I have a prosperous business, a happy family, why bring your chaos and violence here!?"

"Don't worry, the rat gangs aren't after me this time. I'm just here to eat."

"There's always more to your visits than that!"

"Look, I'm not even armed. I swear!" Leonard looked at him sceptically.

"Okay fine, one gun. Thats all."

"Fine, but I'm watching you," Leonard turned to Marlene, "Now Mademoiselle, what would you like to order?"

"I'll start with the French onion soup, then I'll have the chicken confit with herb jus..."

Skipper finished his mouthful, noticing Marlene was staring absent mindlessly into space.

"Whats wrong?" Skipper was worried. Had he picked the wrong restaurant? Maybe Marlene was actually an enemy agent... Skipper mentally slapped himself.

"I was just thinking. You're the first guy I've ever gone on a date with who's name I didn't know. What is your name?"

"John Henderson. Well, thats my cover, so for now, it's my name."

"What about your real name?"

"Classified."

"Well, I'll start. My name' Marlene Drew. I was born, here, in New York..."

"Your dream is to become a pop sensation, you love Spanish guitar, and your favorite breakfast cereal is..."

"How did you... You read my file, right. That is a serious and unforgivable invasion of privacy."

"It's national security. You could have been one of Blowhole's agents!" Marlene rolled her eyes, hiding a hint of a smile. It was cute the way Skipper talked about government policy.

Marlene finished her meal. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Leonard was still watching them.

"Whats with you and that guy?" Marlene asked.

"He thinks me and my team are completely psychotic. Strange, he wasn't the first person to think that. So did that hippie who's beard makes him look like a lion, Alex or something like that."

"You know Alex the Lion!"

"Classi... Yes."

Skipper dropped Marlene home. Her home. Coming from Skipper, that was a pretty good sign of trust.

"That was one of the best dates I've ever been on." Marlene sighed, "I guess thats how most girls feel around you."

"Actually, most girls I go on a date with are either trying to kill me, or I'm trying to kill them." Skipper stated. Marlene knew Skipper well enough to know this was no joke.

"I don't suppose you've ever considered just giving all this up? Settling down? You did make a pretty good lawyer." Marlene coaxed.

"You know, one of the things I've always been afraid of, is being stuck at a desk job. I don't know why, but the idea of not being in the field, not spending my days laughing in the face of danger, scares me. Kind of ironic." Marlene unlocked the front door. Skipper kissed her goodbye.

"Wow." Marlene panted when they finally broke apart.

"Yeah, it's a lot easier to kiss you when I haven't just submitted to certain death." Skipper replied cheekily.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Breakfast? Private makes some pretty good pancakes."

"9:00 am? Or 0900 as you say it."

"0900 it is."

Skipper walked into the HQ All the lights were off and the house silent, but Skipper knew the team was awake. Skipper going on a real date would be just too exciting for them to miss. The phone wrang. Skipper answered it. "Special Agent Rockgut?... Yes sir... Another mission sir?... In Antarctica!?... No I'm fine... Northing's wrong... Me and my men will report to the USS Alice at 1100." Skipper hung up. Why now?! Why when he had just fallen in love.


	15. In Case I Never Return

Skipper and Marlene were led to a candlelit table. Skipper held the menu in front of his face to hide his nervousness. He'd been on dates before, but he hadn't really cared if the girl liked him or not. It was normally just part of the mission. For a few seconds, there was silence.

"I'm guessing that menu unlocks the great mysteries of the universe." Marlene joked. Skipper turned bright red and put the menu down.

"So I'm guessing, now that the mission's over, you'll have a lot more free time?"

"I wish. Mission reports, my resignation from Hans and Savio, I never did get to kill that guy... Maybe I'll get an opportunity later, but he's probably fled the country by now..." Marlene gave him a funny look.

"I'm guessing you don't go on dates with normal people much."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, most people don't tell their dates about how their planning to kill their arch enemy."

"You have a point. This date thing is harder than the time me and Manfridi and Johnson were stuck in detention with one of the best agents in penguin division history. I had really wanted to meet the guy, just not in detention."

"So how did you get out of that one?" It was a bizarre atmosphere. A romantic, candlelit dinner, combined with conversations about espionage.

"I didn't." Skipper chuckled. Marlene picked up her menu.

"What are you ordering?"

"Thats classified."

"Really! Is everything classified?!"

"I was only joking, Marlene." Skipper spotted someone in the crowd, and waved his hand to get his attention. The man came over.

"Hi Leonard, long time no see," Skipper greeted the man standing at their table,"Marlene, this is Leonard. He owns the place. Leonard, this is my girlfriend Marlene. I met Leonard a couple of years ago when we were assigned to help him with his sleep fighting problem."

"Sleep fighting?" Marlene asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't ask."

"Why now, Skipper?!" Leonard interrupted, "I have a prosperous business, a happy family, why bring your chaos and violence here!?"

"Don't worry, the rat gangs aren't after me this time. I'm just here to eat."

"There's always more to your visits than that!"

"Look, I'm not even armed. I swear!" Leonard looked at him sceptically.

"Okay fine, one gun. Thats all."

"Fine, but I'm watching you," Leonard turned to Marlene, "Now Mademoiselle, what would you like to order?"

"I'll start with the French onion soup, then I'll have the chicken confit with herb jus..."

Skipper finished his mouthful, noticing Marlene was staring absent mindlessly into space.

"Whats wrong?" Skipper was worried. Had he picked the wrong restaurant? Maybe Marlene was actually an enemy agent... Skipper mentally slapped himself.

"I was just thinking. You're the first guy I've ever gone on a date with who's name I didn't know. What is your name?"

"John Henderson. Well, thats my cover, so for now, it's my name."

"What about your real name?"

"Classified."

"Well, I'll start. My name' Marlene Drew. I was born, here, in New York..."

"Your dream is to become a pop sensation, you love Spanish guitar, and your favorite breakfast cereal is..."

"How did you... You read my file, right. That is a serious and unforgivable invasion of privacy."

"It's national security. You could have been one of Blowhole's agents!" Marlene rolled her eyes, hiding a hint of a smile. It was cute the way Skipper talked about government policy.

Marlene finished her meal. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Leonard was still watching them.

"Whats with you and that guy?" Marlene asked.

"He thinks me and my team are completely psychotic. Strange, he wasn't the first person to think that. So did that hippie who's beard makes him look like a lion, Alex or something like that."

"You know Alex the Lion!"

"Classi... Yes."

Skipper dropped Marlene home. Her home. Coming from Skipper, that was a pretty good sign of trust.

"That was one of the best dates I've ever been on." Marlene sighed, "I guess thats how most girls feel around you."

"Actually, most girls I go on a date with are either trying to kill me, or I'm trying to kill them." Skipper stated. Marlene knew Skipper well enough to know this was no joke.

"I don't suppose you've ever considered just giving all this up? Settling down? You did make a pretty good lawyer." Marlene coaxed.

"You know, one of the things I've always been afraid of, is being stuck at a desk job. I don't know why, but the idea of not being in the field, not spending my days laughing in the face of danger, scares me. Kind of ironic." Marlene unlocked the front door. Skipper kissed her goodbye.

"Wow." Marlene panted when they finally broke apart.

"Yeah, it's a lot easier to kiss you when I haven't just submitted to certain death." Skipper replied cheekily.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Breakfast? Private makes some pretty good pancakes."

"9:00 am? Or 0900 as you say it."

"0900 it is."

Skipper walked into the HQ All the lights were off and the house silent, but Skipper knew the team was awake. Skipper going on a real date would be just too exciting for them to miss. The phone wrang. Skipper answered it. "Special Agent Rockgut?... Yes sir... Another mission sir?... In Antarctica!?... No I'm fine... Northing's wrong... Me and my men will report to the USS Alice at 1100." Skipper hung up. Why now?! Why when he had just fallen in love.

Skipper woke the team up at 0500. Immediately, they knew something was wrong. They were seated around the dining room table as Skipper described the situation, ignoring any questions about how his date went. A gruff, "Its irrelevant to the mission." Followed by a slap was the most they got out of him.

"Alright, men. We have a new mission. According to Private's report, Blowhole was not captured or killed, due to two grappling guns being accidentally catapulted from Rico's backpack by a spontaneous magnetic surge from MORT. At least, thats the official story. Luckily, the equipment needed to implement his scheme was destroyed when the submarine sunk. We also know that the wealthy industrialist Julian King went missing from his home four days ago, two days before the submarine sunk. It was also included in Private's report that he heard Blowhole tell Doris to check on Mr King. From this it is easily inferred that Mr King has been kidnapped by Blowhole, for reasons unknown. Sources in the Bunny division tell us King did not go down with the ship. Blowhole still has him. Its our job to rescue him." Skipper announced to his team, "We have reports that Blowhole has set up a new base in Tokyo. At 1000 we board the USS Alice for our briefing."

"But Skipper," Kowalski knew there was a 97% chance of a slap if he said this, but continued anyway, "What about Marlene?"

"What do you mean, soldier?" Skipper's eyes narrowed.

"When are you going to tell her?" The door bell rang. It was 0900 on the dot.

"I'm going to tell her now."

They drove as close as Marlene was allowed to the USS Alice. They parked the car and got out.

"Well... I guess this is goodbye, Marlene." Skipper bit his lip. He couldn't afford emotions, not in his profession. He handed Marlene a briefcase. "Hears 20,000 dollars, in cash. Any damages done to your property, regardless of the cause will be repaired." Skipper tried to sound as cold and detached, "I've tried to get you the best compensation package I possibly could... Good luck ma'am."

"Do you think money can compensate me for what I've been through?!" She slapped Skipper across the face, "Did you really think you could just buy me off!?" Marlene glared at the man standing across from her, handing him back the suitcase.

"What did you have in mind?" He asked. Spontaneously, Marlene lent forward kissed him.

"No." Skipper pulled away, "Marlene... I love you... I've never loved anyone as much as I love you, which is why I have to do this. I'll give it to you strait. In my job, we take a lot of risks. I don't want to be the one to break your heart, when one day... I don't make it back." A tear trickled down Marlene's face. "A long time ago, I had a friend. A best friend. His name was Manfridi. He met a girl. A girl he loved as much as I love you. They got married. I still remember, whenever we were on leave, she'd always be there... Standing just at the edge of the gangplank, waiting for him to run down it and into her arms. Then one day, we went on a mission... and he never came running down the gang plank again. You have no idea what it did to her," Skipper squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hide his pain, "I.. I can't... I wont... let you go through what Manfridi's wife did. I want you to forget me. Meet a nice stable, guy. Get married, start a family, decorate your dream house. Just... find someone who can give you everything I can't...and...and never look back." Skipper walked towards the USS Alice. Marlene ran after him, but was held back by the two marines guarding the entrance.

"Someday... when all of this is over... maybe, you could be that perfect guy..." Tears streamed down her face.

"Don't wait for me, Marlene. I'm not worth it." Skipper walked up the gangplank. He never looked back.

**Three months later: a nightclub in Tokyo**

A girl who had introduced herself as Anastasia looked up at him, batting her eyelashes. "So, Skipper..." She purred, leaning closer to him, her lips only inches from his.

"So, you're the operative from the Bunny division." Skipper looked up from his drink, "Whats the latest intel concerning Mr King's location?"

Let's not talk about that now..." She lent closer still, meaning to kiss him. Skipper brushed her away.

"Lets just do our job, ma'am." He interrupted gruffly.

"But..."

"We need to find out where Blowhole's got King. If you don't have any information to report, I suggest you find some." The girl remained seated, stunned by the fact Skipper had never, not even for one second, returned her advances, "It's kind of hard to find any information sitting here, Ma'am." The girl left the bar. Skipper stepped outside.

"I never thought Skipper would ever turn down a beautiful woman." Kitka stood next to him, an amused look on her face. Skipper sighed sadly.

"I've never met a girl I really loved before."

The End

**That was the final chapter, but my next project's going to be a sequel. Will Marlene take Skipper's advice and forget him? What will happen between Kowalski and Doris. Will Julian be saved?**


End file.
